


Finding a Way Home

by al-damnvers (Missanna444)



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Angst, Fluffy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-24
Updated: 2020-02-24
Packaged: 2021-02-19 03:14:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22870954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missanna444/pseuds/al-damnvers
Summary: Kelly finds out Kara is Supergirl by accident. This calls into question how her relationship with Alex will evolve further. They take a break. Alex makes a decision.
Relationships: Alex Danvers/Kelly Olsen
Comments: 4
Kudos: 50





	Finding a Way Home

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on a prompt by and was written for the lovely draconicdivinity on Tumblr! Its the longest oneshot I've ever written. Anyone who knows my work knows that oneshots and multi-fic chapters are only about 1,000 words, usually. It takes up about two pages or so on a word document... this took up like twelve pages. So, I feel accomplished. I hope this wasn't too out of character for them, and I hope you enjoy it!

Kelly figured it out all on her own. She didn’t need to be told who Kara was. Truthfully, it was pretty obvious when she sat down to think about it. Kara and Supergirl had the same haircut and had gotten it at the same time. They had the exact same goofy puppy dog personality, even if Supergirl did exude a little more confidence. But there was no doubt about it, Kara and Supergirl were one and the same. What Kelly couldn’t figure out was why no one would tell her. 

She and Alex had gotten a lot closer and, though they didn’t live together yet, they trusted each other with everything. Almost everything. And it wouldn’t bother Kelly, it really wouldn’t, but she saw how torn up her girlfriend got about Supergirl getting hurt. She understood why Alex tended to throw herself senselessly into danger, because it was to protect Supergirl most of the time. But the further their relationship got, the longer they were together the more concerned she got that Alex wouldn’t tell her. Why? Kelly already knew Alex’s real job, why couldn’t she know about Kara? Did Alex not trust her to keep the secret? 

It all came to a head one night when Alex got home quite late. Kelly had been staying over for the weekend, but Alex had gotten called out while they were eating lunch and it turned out to be a pretty rough mission, because she returned home furious. Alex was truly a gentle soul at home, often leaving her work issues at work. But this… this was different. 

“Alex? Babe, is that you?” Kelly called from the living room.

“Yeah… yeah, it’s me.” Came Alex’s response as she wandered in from the hallway and flopped down on the couch. Kelly could hear what sounded like a mixture of anger and sadness in her voice. 

“What’s wrong? Did something happen?” She asked gently. 

“Kara got hurt.” 

This made Kelly pause. She’d figured out the truth, but Alex didn’t know that she knew. Should she just pretend? Act like she didn’t know? Or act like Alex hadn’t slipped up in saying her sister’s name rather than Supergirl’s?

“She… got hurt? How?” She figured her response could be thought of one or two ways. Either she was questioning how Kara the reporter got hurt on a DEO mission, or she was questioning how Supergirl herself could possibly get hurt. Alex seemed to interpret it the second way. 

“The guy we were trying to defeat had Kryptonite. I told Kara to fall back, to not get involved, but she did anyway! We could have gotten through it without her, but instead of just listening to me for once, she kept fighting and she got hurt. She could have died. She almost did. She almost lost her life and I almost lost my sister because she didn’t--” 

That was when the fire coming from Alex’s mouth stopped, and the look of pain on her face turned to one of pure horror at what she’d said. 

“Alex… Take a deep breath, honey.” Kelly said gently. 

“Kelly, I’m so sorry. I should have told you. I know that. I’m so sorry you didn’t know.” Alex said quickly, trying to backtrack but realizing that she couldn’t. 

Kelly sighed softly. “It’s not… it’s not that you didn’t tell me before, I just… I don’t know, I don’t like that the only reason you did tell me was because you weren’t thinking clearly enough to hide it. I knew you’d tell me when you were ready, but clearly you still wanted to hide it.” 

Alex looked ashamed, to say the least. She didn’t know what to say. “I… You already knew. Oh, god, this day can’t get any worse.” She muttered, burying her face in her hands. 

“Alex, I think… I think I’m gonna go home. You need to rest and get your thoughts together. I’m not mad, but I do deserve an explanation.” Kelly said carefully. She hated seeing Alex so upset, but there wasn’t much she thought she could do. And, honestly, she had some thinking of her own to do.

“Kelly, don’t go.” 

“I need to. I need to think. We’ll talk soon, but… I need tonight to just be alone with this. And I think you do, too.” 

Alex nodded solemnly and let her leave. Kelly had a point. And Alex desperately felt like she needed a drink. She was glad that Kelly wasn’t mad, but this was somehow worse. She went to be that night with enough emotions running through her heart that she couldn’t decipher what any of them were. 

The next day, Alex spent the morning deciding what to say to Kelly. How was she going to explain herself? She’d tell the truth, obviously, but how? Once she felt like she’d figured it out a little better, she headed to Kelly’s apartment. She bought some flowers along the way, just for good measure. 

She knocked on the door, taking a nervous breath as she heard it unlock several moments later. 

“Alex?” Kelly looked somewhat surprised to see her. It wasn’t that she didn’t Alex to explain, but she wasn’t expecting it quite so soon.

“Hey… Um, can we talk? I know we’ve both got today off and, well… I just want to talk about some things with you. I really screwed up, and I want to make it right.” 

“Sure. Come on in.” Kelly said and stepped aside, letting her in. “Are those flowers for me?”

Alex nodded. “Yep. I got your favorites.” She grinned and offered them to her, hoping it would help somehow. Kelly gave her a look of genuine gratitude, then took the flowers and looked for a vase to put them in. Alex wandered into the living room and sat down on the couch while she waited. She knew this could either go really well or really terribly, and she didn’t quite know which one was more likely. Eventually, Kelly joined her and sat down in a chair that faced the couch at an angle, so that they could talk more easily. 

“I appreciate the flowers, Alex. But… we still need to talk. And before you say anything, I just want to clarify that I did know about Kara. No one told me, it just made sense after awhile. They look the same, talk the same, have similar personalities. I mean, no matter how much she tries to mask it with that tough and courageous Supergirl act, the real Kara still shines through.” Kelly said gently.

“Why didn’t you say something? Why didn’t you ask about it, or tell me that you knew?” Alex asked carefully. She tried not to sound accusatory. She knew that any problems this might cause were mostly her own fault. But she wanted to clear the air a little and get a sense of Kelly’s feelings.

“I… I don’t know. At first, I didn’t say anything because I was afraid that I’d totally gotten the wrong signals. It would be embarrassing to ask you about Supergirl being your sister if she wasn’t. I didn’t want you to think that I was being nosey because of your position as Director. But, I did some thinking and realized that I shouldn’t ask because maybe you had reasons for not telling me. Protection for me, or for Kara, who knows… And it's her secret to tell, and yours, I suppose. It wasn’t up to me to ask. If she didn’t want me to know, then that’s it. That’s her choice. But time went on and after awhile, that excuse didn’t make as much sense for why you might not tell me. The closer we got, the more serious we got, it made less and less sense that you wouldn’t tell me. So, I just… kept waiting. And then last night happened.” 

Alex stared at her hands in her lap, not sure what to say just yet. All of Kelly’s points were valid, no matter which of them those reasons supported.

“You’ve got a point. I don’t know why I didn’t tell you. I really don’t. It’s not that I didn’t trust you. Of course I trust you. I mean, I’ve never… I’ve never felt this close and comfortable with someone before. I think, maybe I thought I could protect you, if you didn’t know. I mean, I was kidnapped a few years ago, just because the guy knew my relationship to Kara and to Supergirl, and that it would allow him to blackmail her into doing what he wanted. I couldn’t let that happen to you. I couldn’t let you be in a position like that, possibly getting hurt because of our relationship.” 

Kelly sighed softly. She almost hated how much Alex’s words made sense. She didn’t want to be mad at her, but she wanted to justify her own worries. And as much as she liked to think she could handle herself, she knew that anyone who could hurt Alex would do even worse to her. 

“I get that. And… I love that your goal was to protect me. But… I think that at this point in our relationship, it's more important that I know the truth, even if it puts me in danger. How can I plan for our future if I don’t even know what your present life contains?” With no response from Alex, she continued on. “We’ve already discussed wanting to spend our lives together. We’re on the same page about kids, we’ve established what would happen if you were to have the chance to adopt before we get the chance to get married or engaged. But your sister being Supergirl? It puts you at risk. And it puts our future family at risk. Just like you said a minute ago.”

“I know. I know it does. But that’s why I’m Director, remember? So that I can stay away from the action?” Alex reminded her, but Kelly just shook her head slightly. 

“And has that actually kept you out of the field?” She asked. 

“No. But I don’t have a family yet, so there’s no need to. If I were to become a parent, if we were to get married, that would all change.” 

The look on Kelly’s face was almost a sad one. It made Alex nervous for what she was about to hear. 

“I don’t want to change you, Alex. I’ve said that before. And especially after how upset you were last night about Kara getting hurt, I know that it would be hard for you to change. You are such a brave and strong and loving woman, and the love you have for your sister is… incredible.”

“I can’t lose you for this…”

“You won’t. But I think we should slow down. Or take a break. I don’t know which would be better, but we both need to work things out before we move forwards.”

Alex was stunned. She knew Kelly was right for doing this, but she was still stunned. She couldn’t afford to lose this woman, but there was no way either of them had any answers right now. 

“I can’t… I can’t go slow with you. I mean, we’re already going slow. I can’t go slower than that. I want, I  _ need _ for our relationship to progress. I love you so much, Kelly, going slow just isn’t possible. Especially since we’re far enough into the relationship that our next step is to move in together. That’s already pretty serious.” 

“I understand that. I do. So, what do we do? I don’t know if we can decide what to do immediately, so what do we do?” 

“I think…” Alex took a deep breath. “It pains me to say it, but I think we need to take a break. It doesn’t need to be long, it just needs to happen.”

Kelly nodded solemnly. Neither of them liked this idea, but it was very clearly necessary. It didn’t have to be a long break, but they needed space to figure out the future. Still, it broke Kelly’s heart when she thought she heard Alex stifle a sob after she’d left and closed the door behind her. 

It wasn’t a break-up, exactly, but the only way Alex knew how to deal with anything of the sort was to spend time with her sister, who was a constant through everything Alex had gone through.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Kara asked gently as she made some hot cocoa for the two of them. It was a comfort drink that Alex hated to admit she loved. 

“I already told you the whole story, I don’t know what else there is to talk about.” 

“I mean, do you want my input? You don’t have to take anything I saw seriously, it just might help you think a little.” The blonde replied, handing her sister the mug with more whipped cream piled on top. 

Alex paused to take a thoughtful sip of the drink before answering. “Okay. What’s your input?” 

“I’m with Kelly on this one.”

“Wait, what?”

  
  


“You wanted my input.”

“Yeah, I guess I did.” Alex grumbled. “Okay, continue. Why do you agree more with her side of things?”

“Both of you are totally valid in what you want and what your perspectives are. But I really just see where she’s coming from. I’m honestly surprised that this came up at all. Given her past and the things that she struggles with, plus your own want to be a parent… You should have told her sooner. If not to show how much you love and trust her, but in order to figure out what it means for the future.”

Alex shrugged slightly. “I guess that’s a good point. I just don’t want to totally settle down and give up my job and all of that.”

“Settling down doesn’t mean giving up what you love to do for work, Alex. There might be ways to still work and protect the city, all while staying safe.”

“Great. But how do I figure that out?” Alex countered, making Kara’s trademark eyebrow crinkle visible as she thought about it.

“Well, for starters, let’s establish why you have the job that you do. Why do you like it? Why do you stay? What are your goals at work?”

Alex looked at her sister curiously, wondering when the hell she got so wise, then took a moment to think about it. She’d been at the DEO for seven or eight years now. Things had certainly changed since she’d started there. And yet, they also hadn’t changed at all. Not to the effect of her own motivations, anyways. 

“To protect you.”

“Alex, that’s why you were there years ago. I mean, I’ve been Supergirl for a long time now.”

“I know. But it’s always been to protect you. And now, also to protect those like you.”

“I am bulletproof, Alex. I need your help more for figuring out life, I’m the one that should be protecting you in the field.” Kara said gently.

“And how many times have you almost died?” 

“Okay, true. But still. There are so many ways you can fight for me and for others, without getting in on the violence of it. Yet, you keep jumping into battle if I’m there. You’re human, Alex. It’s okay to find alternatives if being in the physical fight of it isn’t working for you anymore.” Kara said. There was nothing but silence from Alex, so Kara continued. “What if, and hear me out, what if you left the DEO?”

That got Alex’s attention.

“No. Nope. No way. Why would you even suggest that?”

“Because it’s potentially a good option?” 

“How? How is that a good option?”

“Literally so many ways, Alex. You could work with J’onn! Oh, that would be perfect! He’d be so happy to be working with you again. And, I bet he needs your genius mind to get whatever vigilante stuff he’s doing off the ground.” 

“I… maybe…” 

“Maybe you could even get a side job to make some actual money. You don’t have to do any of that, I’m just suggesting it. I know you’ll figure it out.”

Alex spent the next week doing everything she could to think about what Kara had said and analyze every piece of it. She went to work like she always did and thought hard about what the DEO meant to her. What were her favorite parts about it? What parts did she absolutely hate? Could she find ways within the DEO to get rid of the parts she didn’t like? She loved being there. It had felt like a second home for a long time. But the longer she thought about it and the more she considered why she’d stayed so long, she realized that it was because of J’onn. He’d recruited her to keep an eye on her and Kara, to protect them. As she’d gotten better at her job, she was able to work alongside him, as an equal even though she was just an agent. When he stepped down and promoted her, she still went to him with questions, even if they weren’t about work. Hell, he would have walked her down the aisle had she married Maggie. And really, thinking about that was when it hit her. J’onn was a father figure to her. He was family. And she had stayed to make him proud, to help him where she could. But she knew that he’d still be proud of her if she did what was best for herself. And, Kara was right. Maybe he needed her help with his new ventures. And maybe it would allow her to make her own hours. After all, part of the reason she worked so much was for the paycheck. And to even get that, it required all kinds of long nights and early mornings. Even as director, she couldn’t change that.

But even with all of that in mind, Alex still wasn’t sure what to do. So, she called the one person she knew would have some semblance of an answer: Eliza. 

“Alex? I hadn’t heard from you in a bit, is everything okay?” The older woman asked immediately upon answering the phone.

“Yeah, it’s-- actually, no, it’s not.” Alex admitted. Part of maintaining her relationship with her mother meant being honest about things instead of hiding them away. 

“Oh? What’s wrong?” Eliza said gently. 

Alex explained the situation and everything that she was feeling. “I figured you’d be the right person to call. You’re a scientist, you work really hard at what you love, you did everything you could to protect Kara and I, you were a mom to both of us after Dad disappeared… and yeah, there were problems, but overall everything turned out okay. If there’s one person who can tell me what to do, it’s you.”

“Alex, you know I can’t tell you what to do. But… I might be able to help a little bit anyways.” 

“Okay. What’ve you got?” Alex asked, all too eager for an answer. 

“The lab that I work for has a position open in National City. They need someone to work on a project that you’d be absolutely perfect for, some medical science that would help aliens immensely. I didn’t tell you before because I thought you were happy where you were, there was no point in bringing it up. But if you plan on working with J’onn, you’ll need an actual job to keep you financially stable.”

“Wow… But if I do both, then my schedule will still be filled up and we’re back at square one.”

“You wouldn’t be the only one on the project. There would at least be a few other scientists developing it with you. You’d have the time to have a family and be a parent if you wanted to. I know how much you love being out there fighting, but there are so many other ways to help. The healthcare system for aliens is a mess. There aren’t enough knowledgable doctors to help them, and there certainly aren’t enough medications.”

“So, I’d be helping in a much different way. But I’d still be helping to make a change…” 

“You would be. And you’d stay out of danger.” Eliza told her. 

“Well, except for when I’m a vigilante.” Alex pointed out, trying to poke holes in any part of the idea that she could. It wasn’t that she didn’t want it to work, but she was skeptical of it.

“Yes, except for then. But, I have a feeling that this work could also help you when you’re working with J’onn. You’d have a lab to use, you could make first aid kits for any aliens you save that get hurt, you could design technology to subdue certain aliens’ powers without harming them if you need to take them in for questioning. You could do all the things the DEO did, but in much more humane ways.” 

“That’s… a great point, actually. If anything, I’d probably like the job more, and Kelly wouldn’t have to worry about--” Alex paused, her eyes widening.

“What is it?” Eliza said gently. She could tell that her daughter had just realized something significant. Sometimes that was the only way she’d stop talking if she was passionate about something. 

“Kelly wouldn’t have to worry so much about me dying.” Alex said softly, her voice suddenly soft and even a little sad. “I’ve been totally ignoring her needs this whole time, haven’t I?” 

“If that were true, she would have fully broken up with you by now.” 

“Yeah, but we’re on a break now. What if she realizes? What if she sees how horrible I’ve been? I wanted to help her get through some of her issues and I made minimum effort. I thought that texting her after every mission and letting her know I’m safe was enough. It’s so not enough. Oh, no. She’s gonna break up with me. She’s so smart, Mom, of course she’s noticed--” 

“Alex. Relax. Take a deep breath… and go talk to her. You didn’t hurt her on purpose. She knows that.”

“But I didn’t do enough for her. I still threw myself into danger.” 

“You still have time to make it work, Alex. But I think you should go talk to her.”

“Right. Yeah. I gotta go to her, like… now. Also, can you send me the link to that application for the lab so I can look at it more? Great, okay, bye.” And she hung up without waiting for an answer.

Alex got a notification on her phone for the link to the job listing, and she immediately read through it. It was perfect, almost too perfect. But she had to do it. She had to make the jump. She’d land on her feet. 

Once that was settled and she’d made her decision, she grabbed her keys and headed out the door faster than ever. The drive to Kelly’s apartment was possibly the most painfully long thing she’d ever endured. The traffic didn’t help. When she finally got there, the sun was almost down and she hoped that Kelly wasn’t in the middle of dinner. She was already anxious, if she ended up interrupting something she’d feel terrible.

Luckily, Kelly actually wasn’t busy at all… and was about to leave to go see Alex. But before she could, Alex knocked on the door. 

“Alex…? What are you doing here?” Kelly asked gently. “Not that I don’t want to see you, I missed you so much, but…”

“I had to see you. I did a lot of thinking this week and… I just really have to talk to you.” 

“That’s funny, I was just about to come see you.” Kelly said, offering a gentle smile. That sent a wave of relief through Alex. Maybe this was going to be okay. “Come on inside. I’ll make us some tea and we can talk.” 

Alex nodded and entered the apartment, sitting down in the living room. A few minutes later, Kelly joined her with cups of tea for them both. They were both quiet for a few moments, unsure of how to start this conversation. 

“I’m leaving the DEO.” Alex blurted out suddenly. Kelly blinked and stared at her for a moment. 

“You’re… what?” She said in disbelief. 

“I’m leaving the DEO.” Alex repeated. “It… I think it’s time, honestly.” 

“Alex, I never meant for you to--”

“I know. But I was thinking about it and it’s the right choice. There are other ways that I can protect the city and the people I love. There are other ways for me to help aliens without putting myself in physical danger. And by leaving, I can manage my time better, and I’d be able to have a family… and, of course, put more time and energy towards being with you.” 

There was a moment of silence while Kelly processed what Alex was saying. “What… what would you be doing instead? I mean, you’d still be working, I assume.”

“I’d be working in a lab my mom told me about. And working with J’onn on the side. It’s not the perfect solution and I might still get into some tough spots, but it won’t be like it is now. Not even close.” 

Kelly was a bit torn. On the one hand, she was a bit relieved that Alex had come to this conclusion. It would mean that she was much safer, and that was important. But she didn’t want her to be just leaving the DEO because she thought it would make Kelly happy.

“Are you absolutely sure about this? I mean, really, really sure? I don’t want you to regret this.” She said gently.

“I’m sure. I’m honestly ready to go. It feels like the right time. I just… I want a life with you. And I can have that, if I do this. I can have that, and I can still be a hero. Just in a different way.” 

“I don’t want you to feel like I pressured you into this. That was never my intention.”

“I know. I didn’t feel pressured. I want to do this. I can do this. I’ve spent so long in the field that I forgot about the other things I could do. I could work in medicine, or technology, or both… Either way, as long as I’m helping the world somehow and still able to be with you, I’m happy.” 

There was another silence. Kelly was, quite honestly, stunned by what Alex had decided. It was for the best, yes, but she’d expected her to fight an idea like this a little more before giving in. And, truly, it just made her adore Alex more. They’d been through a lot, the two of them, but they stood together through it all. Alex had to make this sacrifice, but the fact that she wanted to do it so earnestly, that solidified it for Kelly. They were going to be just fine.

“Okay.” Kelly said gently. 

“Okay?”

“It’s… it’s a good idea. A good choice.” She said gently. “And I know you said I didn’t pressure you, but I’m still sorry. This is a huge decision, what you’re doing. I didn’t mean to make you feel like you had to change.” 

“If anything, you just… opened my eyes a little. I hadn’t been paying as much attention to your needs as I should have been. I promised that I would, and then I did the minimal amount, which was totally not enough. You’ve been through something that I can’t even fathom. When Maggie and I broke up, it was a mutual choice we made. But when you lost your fiancee… that was totally different. And I thought for some reason that I would be different, that you didn’t have to worry about me. Yet, I’ve gotten hurt more times than I can count.”

“You really have. I mean, I know you’re a badass, but still.” Kelly muttered, a touch of humor in her voice. 

“Yeah, I don’t really understand it either.” Alex smiled. “My point is, I didn’t pay attention to what you needed. And I’m sorry for that. I will do anything I can to be better about it.”

Kelly looked at her carefully and offered her a gentle smile. “You know, I definitely wasn’t exactly happy when you didn’t tell me about Kara until well into our relationship. I know you were trying to protect me, but all I wanted was for us to stand together. But you’re trying. You’re doing everything you can to make this work, and I appreciate that. I know it’s not going to be easy and we’ve both got some learning to do. But I think we can do it.”

“We definitely can.” Alex said and leaned over to give Kelly a tentative kiss. Kelly returned it gently, taking her hand.

“I love you, Alex. That hasn’t changed.”

“I love you too. I always have, I think.” 

A few weeks later, the two of them went to game night together, clearly having fully reconciled. It was a wonderful sight, seeing them the way they’d been before, arms around each other, cuddling on the couch when they weren’t playing games or it wasn’t their turn. 

“How are you two doing?” Kara asked gently. “It’s so good to see you happy and all cuddly again. You weren’t apart for that long, but… it sure felt like it.” 

“We… are actually moving in together. We’re in the process of packing up Alex’s things and moving into my apartment.” Kelly explained.

“Why yours and not Alex’s?” Kara asked curiously. Alex’s apartment was certainly frustrating without an actual bedroom, but it was still quite nice. 

Alex smiled. “Well, last time someone lived with me in my apartment, it was Maggie. And while we don’t have enough saved up for a new apartment altogether, I can still start something new and fresh and wonderful by moving into Kelly’s apartment.” She told her sister, who looked like she was going to burst from the sweetness of the situation. 

“Well, congratulations, you too. You really deserve it. I love seeing both of you so happy.” Kara grinned. Their conversation was interrupted by Nia, who had overheard them.

“Wait. You two weren’t already living together?” 

There was a ripple of laughter that went through the group. All of them except for Kara had assumed that, considering how quickly they got so close. 

  
“Well, we certainly are now. By the way, moving sucks and takes forever. I found so much stuff I thought I’d lost…” Alex laughed. In the chuckle that ensued from everyone else, she shared a glance with Kelly. They didn’t have to say it out loud. The looks they gave each other clearly said,  _ I love you. _

**Author's Note:**

> Did I change Alex's decision to match 5x12? Maaaaaybe. It's one of those situations where I didn't want it to seem OOC, but then it actually happened under different circumstances. So....
> 
> I hope you all liked it, come talk with me on Tumblr (al-damnvers-blog)! Happy 100th episode tonight!!!!


End file.
